Now that ive wasted twenty minutes complaining, i feel like i need to balance it out with a list of things that are good in my life
I'm getting paid to act.
I'm doing some good resume building stuff
I've got two jobs.
I have my own apartment.
Clare. even though i'm a shit sometimes and even though we both feel a little cabin fever ish with being stuck here with the same people, i'd probably kill someone if she wans't here.
Laura. So happy we havent killed each other and happy that she's opted to hang out with us. It's super fun to see her grow into her own person away from the parentals
The carters. Wonderful people. Enough said.
Dave and Natalie's visit. I miss them so much.
Fun with the girls at the candy store.
Late night swimming.
Skinny Dipping. (yay for bucket list)
Summer fling. not really. But at least I made out with someone. More than I got last summer.
SYTYCD. Makes the world a better place.
My family who I know misses and loves me.
Friends that I miss. and who I know miss me. At least I have people to miss
Laura ordering her first drink of her own freewill!!!!
ZACHARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The beauty that is montana.
the stars that amaze me nearly every night.
Katie. I miss her.
Music. It makes my life better. I love it. I'm on a playlist kick right now. its pretty great.
um. just. breathing.
sleeping.
massages
Beef Jerky
Laughing
THe abs that have appeared on my body
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
long time no see
I'm a sparatic blogger. it's telling me sparatic is not a word. it is. sparratic. sperratic. something like that. whatever.
Also. I'm probably going to be cursing here. if you dont like it, stop reading.
anyway.
This summer is absolutely nothing like I would have expected. I have had many a chat with clare and lisa about how ridiculously hard it is to compare the two. And while this summer has been more "fun" i suppose, and I've actually hung out with people besides clare, I miss last summer. It was easy. Not complicated. Way less Drama. People were professional. and it's wierd to have gone from being the young ins to now becing the supposed mature ones. Me? Mature? Scary thought.
And the problem is Michael. Both of them really. I feel bad about blatantly saying it but its true. and while i know i've been a bit crap of a friend to clare, he's been crap to both of us. I should be over it by now. I'm not. I like the kid and it sucks. he's eighteen. it shouldn't matter. but the fact that he hooked up with someeone last weekend and would rather focus on hooking up with yet another person in his last three days being here rather than hang out with people is crap. It's just a crappy thing to do. I mean maybe we're not friends, but whatever.
Like, UGH. its stupid. When he's not being a little shit i generally enjoy his company. i do clearly. It's just. UGH> Im so mad at him.
thank the lord on high for zachary. Yay Zach we love him.
Why do i have so much energy to waste on a stupid damn boy?
Focus it on the show, right.
I just want things to be good. I wanted to be friends with michael but he seems to have no interest in actually forming any kind of relationship with me so it's all stupid and dumb and i hate it.
ANd joey was supposed to be here last night but he wasn't and it made me sad.
And I miss dave and Natalie.
and I hate the fact that I once september is over i have to move home and have no idea what the hell im doing.
what else is wrong with my life:
I'm tired
I've gotten sick a bunch this summer due to not taking care of myself and not sleeping regular hours. I have no self control when it comes to hanging out with JF
I have these random Bruises
There are no prospects in West
I miss home
I miss people from home. But at least I have people to miss I guess.
I'm tired of feeling one-upped all the time
Laura gets to sleep in and then doesn't clean the apartment. I'm sorry. I know im lazy too. But. I work 9-4 pretty much every day then 6-10. so. I have no time.
I catch myself being a hypocrite and I hate it
I make excuses for myself and for other people
I waste energy on things that arent worth it
I complain and curse way to much
I see myself doing things that would be so easy to fix, but sometimes its just easier to complain.
i have myself in this funk and its just an icky energy
Part of me wants to just move on, but there are those moments that are just nice that sort of make everything seem worth it even though I know they are totally not
I have no money
The money i do have I have to save for stupid bills and debt
I feel sorry for myself. all the time.
I see myself doing things just for attention. and it doesn't work.
I know im not depressed, IM just in a funk. (that's not a bad thing it just seemed like i needed to make that statement)
people can hang out and I never can. except at night. so i stay up late to hang out and then i get sick or tired or both and POIUUGVHIOHGCHJIUHYGYDFGHJK:JHGFYDT. that's how i feel.
Also. I'm probably going to be cursing here. if you dont like it, stop reading.
anyway.
This summer is absolutely nothing like I would have expected. I have had many a chat with clare and lisa about how ridiculously hard it is to compare the two. And while this summer has been more "fun" i suppose, and I've actually hung out with people besides clare, I miss last summer. It was easy. Not complicated. Way less Drama. People were professional. and it's wierd to have gone from being the young ins to now becing the supposed mature ones. Me? Mature? Scary thought.
And the problem is Michael. Both of them really. I feel bad about blatantly saying it but its true. and while i know i've been a bit crap of a friend to clare, he's been crap to both of us. I should be over it by now. I'm not. I like the kid and it sucks. he's eighteen. it shouldn't matter. but the fact that he hooked up with someeone last weekend and would rather focus on hooking up with yet another person in his last three days being here rather than hang out with people is crap. It's just a crappy thing to do. I mean maybe we're not friends, but whatever.
Like, UGH. its stupid. When he's not being a little shit i generally enjoy his company. i do clearly. It's just. UGH> Im so mad at him.
thank the lord on high for zachary. Yay Zach we love him.
Why do i have so much energy to waste on a stupid damn boy?
Focus it on the show, right.
I just want things to be good. I wanted to be friends with michael but he seems to have no interest in actually forming any kind of relationship with me so it's all stupid and dumb and i hate it.
ANd joey was supposed to be here last night but he wasn't and it made me sad.
And I miss dave and Natalie.
and I hate the fact that I once september is over i have to move home and have no idea what the hell im doing.
what else is wrong with my life:
I'm tired
I've gotten sick a bunch this summer due to not taking care of myself and not sleeping regular hours. I have no self control when it comes to hanging out with JF
I have these random Bruises
There are no prospects in West
I miss home
I miss people from home. But at least I have people to miss I guess.
I'm tired of feeling one-upped all the time
Laura gets to sleep in and then doesn't clean the apartment. I'm sorry. I know im lazy too. But. I work 9-4 pretty much every day then 6-10. so. I have no time.
I catch myself being a hypocrite and I hate it
I make excuses for myself and for other people
I waste energy on things that arent worth it
I complain and curse way to much
I see myself doing things that would be so easy to fix, but sometimes its just easier to complain.
i have myself in this funk and its just an icky energy
Part of me wants to just move on, but there are those moments that are just nice that sort of make everything seem worth it even though I know they are totally not
I have no money
The money i do have I have to save for stupid bills and debt
I feel sorry for myself. all the time.
I see myself doing things just for attention. and it doesn't work.
I know im not depressed, IM just in a funk. (that's not a bad thing it just seemed like i needed to make that statement)
people can hang out and I never can. except at night. so i stay up late to hang out and then i get sick or tired or both and POIUUGVHIOHGCHJIUHYGYDFGHJK:JHGFYDT. that's how i feel.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
ugh
surreal.
Because i'm going back right.
I feel like in a week, or after the summer, its time to go back and stuff. see people again. Blah now i want to cry. this doesnt feel real. and maybe im making "much too much a fuss about this"
Because i'm going back right.
I feel like in a week, or after the summer, its time to go back and stuff. see people again. Blah now i want to cry. this doesnt feel real. and maybe im making "much too much a fuss about this"
now what??
well. I graduated today.
I'm just sitting here at my family's computer and I don't know what to think. Or do. Leaving my house was the hardest. Not because of the house itself, just knowing I'm not going to be moving into another one. Turning in my keys sucked. And as I was leaving I told katie to dirve by the orchard. There was a party going on. I wasnted to stop and get out, but we had to get home because katie ha a test or something.
How can four years have gone by so fast?? High school went by fast too, and I can't believe its been nearly eight year since I was a freshman at Snohomish. But this is something completely different. Maybe, because going into PLU, I wasn't going to be surrounded by the same people I grew up with. It was new and exciting. New people, new stories.
I remember freshman year, first semester was great, but I wasn't really in with the theatre crowd. I hung out with the girls in my hall. J term came, and I hung out with different people. so then when it rolled around to spring semester, social circles changed again, and I realized I had no friends. It was one of the most low points of my life. I knew people and stuff, but no one called me up or sought me out. it was awful.
Sophomore year changed everything. Cast as a lead in a play. New home (ordal). Improv. Adventures. I had friends, I knew people. I hung out. went to Clay City. J term was amazing. AMAZING. that's when clare and I became friends. and the MUrder was formed. and many many adventures. Clay city, stealing roadsigns, conquering the sea. it was awesome. Spring came around. relationships changed. the CLAY CROWs happened. THe road trip, which was amazing. I had a group of friends. I had my niche. I randomly decided to apply to go to London. Accepted to that: wow.
Worked for the Y. came back to school. performed again. relationships changed again. and I hit a low point. It was awful. It wasn't even because of that, it was because I felt betrayed by two of my best friends. BUT. I dont know why that was so hard for me. and it was even more frustrating BECAUSE i DIDN'T know why. Clare and I kind of became clare and I. J term. THen.
London. Oh london. THat wonderful amazing place that somehow changed me. I dont really even feel like I changed that much. But the sophomore me and senior me were so different, I have to attribute it to being on my own. I think. Seriously, going over there was the best decision I think i've ever made. It was the right time in my life, and just opnened my eyes to how small, and big, and wonderful the world really is. I had freedom over there. I saw really cool people. Spring breaked with CLare and my family in Paris. sir ian. patrick stewart. morgan freeman. judy dench. Harry potter. Spring awakening. holy crap. London was my spring awakening. just figured that out as cliche and stupid as that may sound. but it rea;lly was. I got comfortable with my self. with the person I wasnted to be. I didn't let stupid people hold me back. I travelled around the world by myself. England. scotland. Germany. France. Ireland. Italy. Austria. Germany again. RE connected with people. Came back to PLU and hung out.
WEST. MY FIRST PAID GIG. thanks to clares connection.s
Senior year. went by too fast. I just can't believe it. and i left today without really sying goodbye to alot of people. I gave morris a hug and he started going all sentimental. because well, I leave on tuesday. and I knew I wouldnt see him or val again for a while. until at least december. It was hardest saying goodbye to him. which i didnt even really do because if i had started to say anything I would have cried. the ceremony wasnt too bad. I was texting people two seats away form me. funny. BUT
Senior year. Off campus. good. Drunk for the first time. good. NOMT for the first time. FUn. friends with underclassmen. FINALLY became friends with Becca. I've always wanted to be friends wtih her, and always felt this wierd connection, but never actually hung out with her or anything until this year. and. well. I'm so grateful for her. she's my soulmate ish. Friends get married in Hawaii. Brilliant. Off to Ireland. My heart hurts sometimes ebcause I miss it. and it reminded me too much of london. But the people were better. MADE OUT WITH AN IRISH BOY!!!! silly, but it was my goal the whole time. Ireland reminded me of why im friends with the people im friends with. and why im not with the people i'm not. But those 21 days will stay with me forever. Alzheimers excluded. Loved every single second of it. Re-affirmed my faith in GOd. and re connected with people I missed.
Spring went by too fast. Cripple was the hardest ive worked on a show. not the most fun, but definately the most rewarding show ive ever done. Streetcar was a big lesson. UMMMMM> MICHAEL BUBLE> BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE>
and then i was depressed. more depressed than I was freshman year ehre, and maybe even sophomore year of high school. it was bad. i just didnt care about anything. and then i got all sad. Because, see. my junior year of high school i FREAKED OUT about graduation. leaving people. and by the time senior year rolled around, I was fine. Junior year of college, I was in LONDON. I didnt give a crap about graduation. So, I hadn't had time to really even think about it. and while I was THRILLED to be done with tbe beaurocracy of school, i finally realized THIS IS IT.
so i'm having a hard time dealing with everything. Id idnt even really get to say goodbye to everyone today. im so glad ive reconnedcted with kirsten, made friends with becca, went to parties, for everything. My main goal in life is to live with no regrets. its all silly and cliche but its true. No day but today: forget regret or life is yours to miss. I almost cried during the ceremony but didnt want red eyes for pictures. But when I left the key to my house inside today, thats when I almost lost it. like. I never get to drive back down for school. I never get to be in another play down there. and it wasnt by so fast. SO fast. I cant believe its been four years.
And ive changed. I'm not the same person. Ive become a lot more open minded. which is why i hated leaving today. Because I came home to the town that knew me as someone who I'm not anymore. I have to go back to this place that defined me for so long, and now that ive gotten a chance to define myself, I'm so afraid i'm going to be pushed back into the old box. My family has been so supportive, but they dont get it. I dont mean katie, but, really, everyone else, especially on my moms side of the family, doesnt get it. I'm not some sheltered little girl anymore. I believe in GOd, but I don't believe in the literalness of the bible. I don;t think anyway. I m a lot more liberal than I was when I left, because ive had the time to think for MYSELF, without being told what to think or how to think it. and I'm so grateful to PLY for giving me that opportunity. I guess I'm just terrified that everyone here expects me to act the same and be the same and go back to the way i was before. same schedule and values. That person, THAT Anne, doesn't exist anymore. I want to be free to continue t grow wihout worrying about what my parents think, or whether they hate the new me. I know they dont hate me, but I want them to respect the way I think and the choices I make, whether or not they are athe same choices I would have made four years ago.
And im terrified that im never going to see people again. I know people come and go, and we've got to let life take us on the ride. But. Like, dylan. I love and respect that guy so much. Same with Kinglsey and Mana. Travis morris. who knows. Katie Rice. Who knows. Paul? I dont know. Kirsten, I will be seeing. Clare I will be seeing. I dont want to hang on for the sake of old memories, but part of me is really sad that I'm not guaranteed to be with these people or see them. or that these influential people who have all changed me and helped me to grow arent automatically going to be there. I guess I'm afraid Ive taken thier presence for granted, and that when I may want it in the future, it wont be there. ANdrea, Lars, tingvall. I mean, I know for the next year or two we'll all talk, at least superficially. After that, who knows.
Ugh. Im emotionally spent. Im feeling every single emotion possible right now. excited, relived, nostalgic, terrified, sad, happy, apathetic, angry, frustrated.... just. everything.
I guess all I can do at this point is just be grateful for where life has taken me, and the person i have let myself become. who knows what tomorrow will bring. and the day after, its back to the pinecone.
now, time to cry myself to sleep. why do we cry when we're happy? BLAH
I'm just sitting here at my family's computer and I don't know what to think. Or do. Leaving my house was the hardest. Not because of the house itself, just knowing I'm not going to be moving into another one. Turning in my keys sucked. And as I was leaving I told katie to dirve by the orchard. There was a party going on. I wasnted to stop and get out, but we had to get home because katie ha a test or something.
How can four years have gone by so fast?? High school went by fast too, and I can't believe its been nearly eight year since I was a freshman at Snohomish. But this is something completely different. Maybe, because going into PLU, I wasn't going to be surrounded by the same people I grew up with. It was new and exciting. New people, new stories.
I remember freshman year, first semester was great, but I wasn't really in with the theatre crowd. I hung out with the girls in my hall. J term came, and I hung out with different people. so then when it rolled around to spring semester, social circles changed again, and I realized I had no friends. It was one of the most low points of my life. I knew people and stuff, but no one called me up or sought me out. it was awful.
Sophomore year changed everything. Cast as a lead in a play. New home (ordal). Improv. Adventures. I had friends, I knew people. I hung out. went to Clay City. J term was amazing. AMAZING. that's when clare and I became friends. and the MUrder was formed. and many many adventures. Clay city, stealing roadsigns, conquering the sea. it was awesome. Spring came around. relationships changed. the CLAY CROWs happened. THe road trip, which was amazing. I had a group of friends. I had my niche. I randomly decided to apply to go to London. Accepted to that: wow.
Worked for the Y. came back to school. performed again. relationships changed again. and I hit a low point. It was awful. It wasn't even because of that, it was because I felt betrayed by two of my best friends. BUT. I dont know why that was so hard for me. and it was even more frustrating BECAUSE i DIDN'T know why. Clare and I kind of became clare and I. J term. THen.
London. Oh london. THat wonderful amazing place that somehow changed me. I dont really even feel like I changed that much. But the sophomore me and senior me were so different, I have to attribute it to being on my own. I think. Seriously, going over there was the best decision I think i've ever made. It was the right time in my life, and just opnened my eyes to how small, and big, and wonderful the world really is. I had freedom over there. I saw really cool people. Spring breaked with CLare and my family in Paris. sir ian. patrick stewart. morgan freeman. judy dench. Harry potter. Spring awakening. holy crap. London was my spring awakening. just figured that out as cliche and stupid as that may sound. but it rea;lly was. I got comfortable with my self. with the person I wasnted to be. I didn't let stupid people hold me back. I travelled around the world by myself. England. scotland. Germany. France. Ireland. Italy. Austria. Germany again. RE connected with people. Came back to PLU and hung out.
WEST. MY FIRST PAID GIG. thanks to clares connection.s
Senior year. went by too fast. I just can't believe it. and i left today without really sying goodbye to alot of people. I gave morris a hug and he started going all sentimental. because well, I leave on tuesday. and I knew I wouldnt see him or val again for a while. until at least december. It was hardest saying goodbye to him. which i didnt even really do because if i had started to say anything I would have cried. the ceremony wasnt too bad. I was texting people two seats away form me. funny. BUT
Senior year. Off campus. good. Drunk for the first time. good. NOMT for the first time. FUn. friends with underclassmen. FINALLY became friends with Becca. I've always wanted to be friends wtih her, and always felt this wierd connection, but never actually hung out with her or anything until this year. and. well. I'm so grateful for her. she's my soulmate ish. Friends get married in Hawaii. Brilliant. Off to Ireland. My heart hurts sometimes ebcause I miss it. and it reminded me too much of london. But the people were better. MADE OUT WITH AN IRISH BOY!!!! silly, but it was my goal the whole time. Ireland reminded me of why im friends with the people im friends with. and why im not with the people i'm not. But those 21 days will stay with me forever. Alzheimers excluded. Loved every single second of it. Re-affirmed my faith in GOd. and re connected with people I missed.
Spring went by too fast. Cripple was the hardest ive worked on a show. not the most fun, but definately the most rewarding show ive ever done. Streetcar was a big lesson. UMMMMM> MICHAEL BUBLE> BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE>
and then i was depressed. more depressed than I was freshman year ehre, and maybe even sophomore year of high school. it was bad. i just didnt care about anything. and then i got all sad. Because, see. my junior year of high school i FREAKED OUT about graduation. leaving people. and by the time senior year rolled around, I was fine. Junior year of college, I was in LONDON. I didnt give a crap about graduation. So, I hadn't had time to really even think about it. and while I was THRILLED to be done with tbe beaurocracy of school, i finally realized THIS IS IT.
so i'm having a hard time dealing with everything. Id idnt even really get to say goodbye to everyone today. im so glad ive reconnedcted with kirsten, made friends with becca, went to parties, for everything. My main goal in life is to live with no regrets. its all silly and cliche but its true. No day but today: forget regret or life is yours to miss. I almost cried during the ceremony but didnt want red eyes for pictures. But when I left the key to my house inside today, thats when I almost lost it. like. I never get to drive back down for school. I never get to be in another play down there. and it wasnt by so fast. SO fast. I cant believe its been four years.
And ive changed. I'm not the same person. Ive become a lot more open minded. which is why i hated leaving today. Because I came home to the town that knew me as someone who I'm not anymore. I have to go back to this place that defined me for so long, and now that ive gotten a chance to define myself, I'm so afraid i'm going to be pushed back into the old box. My family has been so supportive, but they dont get it. I dont mean katie, but, really, everyone else, especially on my moms side of the family, doesnt get it. I'm not some sheltered little girl anymore. I believe in GOd, but I don't believe in the literalness of the bible. I don;t think anyway. I m a lot more liberal than I was when I left, because ive had the time to think for MYSELF, without being told what to think or how to think it. and I'm so grateful to PLY for giving me that opportunity. I guess I'm just terrified that everyone here expects me to act the same and be the same and go back to the way i was before. same schedule and values. That person, THAT Anne, doesn't exist anymore. I want to be free to continue t grow wihout worrying about what my parents think, or whether they hate the new me. I know they dont hate me, but I want them to respect the way I think and the choices I make, whether or not they are athe same choices I would have made four years ago.
And im terrified that im never going to see people again. I know people come and go, and we've got to let life take us on the ride. But. Like, dylan. I love and respect that guy so much. Same with Kinglsey and Mana. Travis morris. who knows. Katie Rice. Who knows. Paul? I dont know. Kirsten, I will be seeing. Clare I will be seeing. I dont want to hang on for the sake of old memories, but part of me is really sad that I'm not guaranteed to be with these people or see them. or that these influential people who have all changed me and helped me to grow arent automatically going to be there. I guess I'm afraid Ive taken thier presence for granted, and that when I may want it in the future, it wont be there. ANdrea, Lars, tingvall. I mean, I know for the next year or two we'll all talk, at least superficially. After that, who knows.
Ugh. Im emotionally spent. Im feeling every single emotion possible right now. excited, relived, nostalgic, terrified, sad, happy, apathetic, angry, frustrated.... just. everything.
I guess all I can do at this point is just be grateful for where life has taken me, and the person i have let myself become. who knows what tomorrow will bring. and the day after, its back to the pinecone.
now, time to cry myself to sleep. why do we cry when we're happy? BLAH
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
"yeah you bleed just to know you're alive"
I hate being depressed. and hating myself being depressed just makes me more depressed.
I think capstone just overwhelmed me. that and I've given up even trying for my classes. I can offically say gave up trying; i skipped one of my classes because I didn't do something worth 50 percent of my grade.
I realized last week that I might be getting depressed again. and then I was like, no im fine. then I got really upset because i couldnt place a cap and gown and completely lost it. LOST IT. I called my mom, who laughed at the situation, I was tryng to hold it together, but her laughing just made me want to bawl. and I did as soon as I got off the phone. She wasnt laughing at me she was just laughing about the stupid eastern time zone thing.
And yes. I hate to be like "guess what friends, Im depressed" and It also makes me feel like Im seeking attention. I know it will be better once school is done, although thats another reason im depressed. Im all sad about leaving.
I dont mean dapressed as in sad. I think I actually have depression right now. because i'll be fine and then two seconds later im all sad. and moody. I'm not bi polar.
The only time ive ever felt this bad was sophomore year of high school. I felt pretty crappy my freshman year here too. I just. I dont care. and I feel numb. and then I will just get completely emotional and want to cry. and then i feel like a drama queen and like its not worth it and... UGH im a mess
ill clean tomorrow.
I'll beg for forgiveness from my prof soon.
ive got to get brian to sign off
I want to be done with school so bad
but im going to miss people. and I keep being all nostalgic and I want it to be sophomore year, when we went on adventures and people were actually friends.
)(YUTCUYIGUOHPIo[098y7t3986ug w9ytgywieghfds0jhq3bj9riu3hrjgt sioghwi4bhtbge uhorepw3i2brd wio3u2iyh2hrgn jroireigohuwrlkjsrsgpiwefooubw4etlbjwergwlkxfbpopxicviowef wrgpirgoipibnweg etpoignwgldrg' fb erkgj oug bneorgbebnpoejgrngjejspgjslkn;aurehrglhidmvcjmfkfdkldezhjxs
and that was me pounding the keys
at least i have a computer though
this isnt a cry for help. i dont want pity, I just want to be happy.
maybe I should take advide from the title of my own blog.
expletive. UGH
and i ate that im not in streetcar. OH WLL IM DONE NOW
enough of this rampage. Zachary is going to give me a massage
I think capstone just overwhelmed me. that and I've given up even trying for my classes. I can offically say gave up trying; i skipped one of my classes because I didn't do something worth 50 percent of my grade.
I realized last week that I might be getting depressed again. and then I was like, no im fine. then I got really upset because i couldnt place a cap and gown and completely lost it. LOST IT. I called my mom, who laughed at the situation, I was tryng to hold it together, but her laughing just made me want to bawl. and I did as soon as I got off the phone. She wasnt laughing at me she was just laughing about the stupid eastern time zone thing.
And yes. I hate to be like "guess what friends, Im depressed" and It also makes me feel like Im seeking attention. I know it will be better once school is done, although thats another reason im depressed. Im all sad about leaving.
I dont mean dapressed as in sad. I think I actually have depression right now. because i'll be fine and then two seconds later im all sad. and moody. I'm not bi polar.
The only time ive ever felt this bad was sophomore year of high school. I felt pretty crappy my freshman year here too. I just. I dont care. and I feel numb. and then I will just get completely emotional and want to cry. and then i feel like a drama queen and like its not worth it and... UGH im a mess
ill clean tomorrow.
I'll beg for forgiveness from my prof soon.
ive got to get brian to sign off
I want to be done with school so bad
but im going to miss people. and I keep being all nostalgic and I want it to be sophomore year, when we went on adventures and people were actually friends.
)(YUTCUYIGUOHPIo[098y7t3986ug w9ytgywieghfds0jhq3bj9riu3hrjgt sioghwi4bhtbge uhorepw3i2brd wio3u2iyh2hrgn jroireigohuwrlkjsrsgpiwefooubw4etlbjwergwlkxfbpopxicviowef wrgpirgoipibnweg etpoignwgldrg' fb erkgj oug bneorgbebnpoejgrngjejspgjslkn;aurehrglhidmvcjmfkfdkldezhjxs
and that was me pounding the keys
at least i have a computer though
this isnt a cry for help. i dont want pity, I just want to be happy.
maybe I should take advide from the title of my own blog.
expletive. UGH
and i ate that im not in streetcar. OH WLL IM DONE NOW
enough of this rampage. Zachary is going to give me a massage
Sunday, April 4, 2010
the story according to katie
me and my sister caught up to his bus on i-5 and i was driving and i waved and he looked over and waved back, and then blew me a kiss. and i blew one back!!! and then we let them get a head a bit. and then when we went to pass him again we made faces at him and he was laughing. and then the next time i rolled down my window ... See Morecuz his was down. and he goes "hey! what are you guys up to!" and we were all "oh we just are on our way home from your concert!" and he said something else. and then he goes "drive safely" to me!! and i was like "oh i will" and then he goes "where are you you guys headed?" and we go "this is our exit!" and he goes "ok, goodnight ladies." and then he stuck his head on his hands and placed them on the window and waved goodbye and blew us a kiss!!! MOST AWESOME NIGHT EVER!!!
Michael Buble Epicness
OKAY. SO.
Last night, Katie and I went to Michael Buble's Concert. He is amazing Live. He sang all my favorite songs and it was awesome. But the best part happened after the concert.
As we were leaving, I thought, hey, there has to be a stage door or something, so I said to katie, "Hey, do you want to go wait for him?" and she said sure. So we walked around the Key Arena and found a place that had a bunch of buses. We waited in this little garden thing for a bit, then realized that there was a better chance of us seeing him by the bus exit. So we walked over there to where a little crowd was gathered.
The long and short of is is that we were waiting until 1:00 AM when his bus actually left. By that point, there were only six of us. As the bus pulled out, we waved, then I heard katie scream. We looked to the front, and he was sticking his head out the passenger window!! He said "Hey guys! thank you so much for all of your support. I would come out, but my family is here and everything." We were all like, no problem. Then I looked at him and just said "It's okay! Have a happy easter!" He said Thanks, and stuck his head back in. I'm pretty sure I blew him a kiss goodbye.
So then Katie remembers that He is going to Vancouver. We are going to EVerett. THe chances of him going on i-5 were just too great. And she realizes that if we run to the car, we may be able to catch up with him. It takes us five minutes to get there, but we ran. Of course, by that time, we had been standing outside in the cold and it was really hard to go more than 50 ft without stopping. BUT we made it to the car. And so we get on the highway. We're fine, we're fine, we're fine, and then we see it. Katie goes "Look!!" and we saw the bus, fairly far away, but there nonetheless. Katie says "I don't care, I'm going for it!"
___________I'm going to Put a Bus Video in here!!__________
I apologize for the screaming. BUT. so we see the bus. Katie goes, I don't care, I'm going for it. So We speed up. And got closer. Then Katie goes "what do i do?" So I had the brilliant Idea to pass it on the left, merge, then slow down so we could be on the right. So she did. And we did. And then proceeded to freak out because "MICHAEL BUBLE WAS RIGHT NEXT TO US!!!!" So we stayed pretty even with the bus for a few minutes, slowed down, sped up, whatever. Then we realized we had to merge, so we got behind the Bus. We followed it for a little bit. And then We moved back over. The bus sort of went behind us, I turned around to watch it go, and SAW SOMEONE IN THE FRONT SEAT. Realized, IT HAD TO BE HIM. after a series of screaming and stuff, another car got behind us, and between us and the bus, so we slowed down, the car merged, then we were on level with the bus. I looked up, and.... unfortunately saw a cigarette..... but realized it was him. So then, Katie starts waving, saying "turn around, turn around turn around" and I just start yelling "michael! Michael! Michael!!!"
AMAZINGLY..... HE DID!!!!!!! He looked at us for a half a second with a quizzical look on his face...... then Waved Back!!!! I think he then blew katie a kiss..... But OMG!!!! So then the Bus slowed down again, and then we did too, and I go "Katie!! Let's make faces at him!!!!" and so we both made a face at him. And At that point, someone else was up in the front seat with him!!!!! We think he called someone over. I guess Katie said he was laughing. And then we did one last, slow down, speed up, becuse by this point we were in everett. By the time we caught up again. I look over, and KATIE HAS ROLLED DOWN HER WINDOW!!!.... and to our surprise.....HE OPENED HIS TOO!!!!!!! We waved and laughed. And he said something like "Well what are you up to?" and I yelled back "We just saw your concert!" And something else. And then we were all laughing, and he goes, "Well, Drive safely, girls!" katie said "We will" I yelled "This is our exit, anyway!" It was close to our exit. .exit, and I will never forget. He looked at us, Blew us a kiss, smiled and waved. Then I remembered that I had forgotten to get a pic of him leaving the Key arena, and I would kill myself if I didnt document this, so I screamed "WAIT!!" And turned on the record on my camera. I got the shortest video clip of him ever, but I got it. Then as he pulled away, and we took our exit, we realized what had just happened.
And we screamed and giggled all the way home.
So that was the night that Katie and I talked to Michael Buble on the Freeway. Excellent.
Last night, Katie and I went to Michael Buble's Concert. He is amazing Live. He sang all my favorite songs and it was awesome. But the best part happened after the concert.
As we were leaving, I thought, hey, there has to be a stage door or something, so I said to katie, "Hey, do you want to go wait for him?" and she said sure. So we walked around the Key Arena and found a place that had a bunch of buses. We waited in this little garden thing for a bit, then realized that there was a better chance of us seeing him by the bus exit. So we walked over there to where a little crowd was gathered.
The long and short of is is that we were waiting until 1:00 AM when his bus actually left. By that point, there were only six of us. As the bus pulled out, we waved, then I heard katie scream. We looked to the front, and he was sticking his head out the passenger window!! He said "Hey guys! thank you so much for all of your support. I would come out, but my family is here and everything." We were all like, no problem. Then I looked at him and just said "It's okay! Have a happy easter!" He said Thanks, and stuck his head back in. I'm pretty sure I blew him a kiss goodbye.
So then Katie remembers that He is going to Vancouver. We are going to EVerett. THe chances of him going on i-5 were just too great. And she realizes that if we run to the car, we may be able to catch up with him. It takes us five minutes to get there, but we ran. Of course, by that time, we had been standing outside in the cold and it was really hard to go more than 50 ft without stopping. BUT we made it to the car. And so we get on the highway. We're fine, we're fine, we're fine, and then we see it. Katie goes "Look!!" and we saw the bus, fairly far away, but there nonetheless. Katie says "I don't care, I'm going for it!"
___________I'm going to Put a Bus Video in here!!__________
I apologize for the screaming. BUT. so we see the bus. Katie goes, I don't care, I'm going for it. So We speed up. And got closer. Then Katie goes "what do i do?" So I had the brilliant Idea to pass it on the left, merge, then slow down so we could be on the right. So she did. And we did. And then proceeded to freak out because "MICHAEL BUBLE WAS RIGHT NEXT TO US!!!!" So we stayed pretty even with the bus for a few minutes, slowed down, sped up, whatever. Then we realized we had to merge, so we got behind the Bus. We followed it for a little bit. And then We moved back over. The bus sort of went behind us, I turned around to watch it go, and SAW SOMEONE IN THE FRONT SEAT. Realized, IT HAD TO BE HIM. after a series of screaming and stuff, another car got behind us, and between us and the bus, so we slowed down, the car merged, then we were on level with the bus. I looked up, and.... unfortunately saw a cigarette..... but realized it was him. So then, Katie starts waving, saying "turn around, turn around turn around" and I just start yelling "michael! Michael! Michael!!!"
AMAZINGLY..... HE DID!!!!!!! He looked at us for a half a second with a quizzical look on his face...... then Waved Back!!!! I think he then blew katie a kiss..... But OMG!!!! So then the Bus slowed down again, and then we did too, and I go "Katie!! Let's make faces at him!!!!" and so we both made a face at him. And At that point, someone else was up in the front seat with him!!!!! We think he called someone over. I guess Katie said he was laughing. And then we did one last, slow down, speed up, becuse by this point we were in everett. By the time we caught up again. I look over, and KATIE HAS ROLLED DOWN HER WINDOW!!!.... and to our surprise.....HE OPENED HIS TOO!!!!!!! We waved and laughed. And he said something like "Well what are you up to?" and I yelled back "We just saw your concert!" And something else. And then we were all laughing, and he goes, "Well, Drive safely, girls!" katie said "We will" I yelled "This is our exit, anyway!" It was close to our exit. .exit, and I will never forget. He looked at us, Blew us a kiss, smiled and waved. Then I remembered that I had forgotten to get a pic of him leaving the Key arena, and I would kill myself if I didnt document this, so I screamed "WAIT!!" And turned on the record on my camera. I got the shortest video clip of him ever, but I got it. Then as he pulled away, and we took our exit, we realized what had just happened.
And we screamed and giggled all the way home.
So that was the night that Katie and I talked to Michael Buble on the Freeway. Excellent.
Friday, March 26, 2010
well
wasn't expecting that. and got my hopes up. and then died. not really cuz im typing this. but i just. whatever.
thus is life and now its time to move on.
I was just so excited to get a shot and take it. like. show everyone that i'm good. I know im good or I wouldnt be doing this. but this is the first time ive really really put my eggs in a basket before they hatched. or what ever. I feel like cursing. ive done a lot of that today. what a great way to start off my break.
not.
on the bright side, michael buble in a week. which i would gladly give up to do this play.
oh well. I get one day to be depressed. then move on. and one day is proabbly still too muh. ive been moping for the past two hours. live for NOW right. The title of this blog. dear self. get over it.
thus is life and now its time to move on.
I was just so excited to get a shot and take it. like. show everyone that i'm good. I know im good or I wouldnt be doing this. but this is the first time ive really really put my eggs in a basket before they hatched. or what ever. I feel like cursing. ive done a lot of that today. what a great way to start off my break.
not.
on the bright side, michael buble in a week. which i would gladly give up to do this play.
oh well. I get one day to be depressed. then move on. and one day is proabbly still too muh. ive been moping for the past two hours. live for NOW right. The title of this blog. dear self. get over it.
Monday, March 22, 2010
emo.tional
i'm in a wierd place. I don't like anyone. I hate to start a blog with that sentence, but that's how I feel. right now. I'm just sitting in my room, trying to think of something to write for a number of papers. and I have auditions this week, which makes me want to vomit.
I may have stepped foot on the eastvold stage for the last time ever. so sad. I was very aware as i said "back for good" tonight, that that might be the last thing I say on that stage. and now I want to cry. How can it have been four years?? already. it's insane.
ad I have capstone and everything to do, which has been hard to find time for with the play. ugh.
Ugh. I dont want to be all depressed feeling, and I know its just because im sad about the play being over. I have so many emotions running around in me. and I feel like someone has taken a stir stick and just, mushed up my brain. I can't think straight. Also I can't start my homework until two am. how horrible is that.
I may have stepped foot on the eastvold stage for the last time ever. so sad. I was very aware as i said "back for good" tonight, that that might be the last thing I say on that stage. and now I want to cry. How can it have been four years?? already. it's insane.
ad I have capstone and everything to do, which has been hard to find time for with the play. ugh.
Ugh. I dont want to be all depressed feeling, and I know its just because im sad about the play being over. I have so many emotions running around in me. and I feel like someone has taken a stir stick and just, mushed up my brain. I can't think straight. Also I can't start my homework until two am. how horrible is that.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Really? REALLY?
I'm so tired of all this petty SH*T. That's all it is. Petty. I'm so tired of people talking about people behind each other's backs, and then not owning up to it when they do. I'm tired of people pretending to be friends, and looking out for only themselves. I hate it. I hate it. I hate being called a bad friend because it is the one thing I try so hard not to be.
Goodness gracious. UUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Goodness gracious. UUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Saturday, February 27, 2010
wow. just wow.
Tsunami,
Katrina,
Haiti,
Chile,
Tsunami warning for Hawaii
my thoughts and prayers go out to those affected.
Katrina,
Haiti,
Chile,
Tsunami warning for Hawaii
my thoughts and prayers go out to those affected.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
I wanna be someone's "someone", but I don't want to be anyone's "wife"
Okay. That's a lie. Sort of. I want to be a wife. I want to be a mother. someday. But i don't want that to be all I am. It won't be but...
When I get married, which I'm praying I will, my someone will know what I want. They won't be mad that I don't want to change my last name, or at least don't want to take their name if they won't take mine. We will not be introduced as "mr and Mrs. Man's name", nor will I have Letters addressed to me as "mrs. man's name." I promise to continue to remain the person I am. to remain an individual. I am completely against the notion that there is someone out there who will "complete me", because I believe I can be, and have to be, a whole person outside of a relationship. My whole philosophy in that area is that there are people more or less fit for you to be with, and that those people will complement you perfectly. those people will bring out the best in you, and challenge you to be the best you can be. THey will push you when you know you can do better, and support you when you need it.
But i refuse to be completely reliant on another person. I like the idea that I could rely on someone, but I hope I dont ever have to. I know I can't always go go go, and I do need people to hold me up, but I don't want to ever have to use that. does that make sense?
I've just, let go of these past assumptions I had about what I wanted. I refuse to take a back seat to my husband. I'm not sure i'm even going to want to call him my husband. I'd rather call him my partner, or companion. like, he will be my husband, but i'm not going to submit to him, or let him have the final say. not to say i'm not going to listen to him, and this is a long way off... I'm just thinking out loud. oh also, It's "I now pronounce you husband and wife", not i now pronounce you "man and wife". I'm not just going to be some man's wife. that makes me want to throw up. I've just been wrestling with this for a while. How do i reconcile being both a christian and a feminist, when my family associates feminism with liberal secular people. I can be both, I know, because I already am both. But it's really hard to get my family to take that seriously. Especially katie. She doesn't get it. and it sucks because she is probably the person who knows me the best in this world, but that's the one part of me she just doesn't understand. And that has become such a huge part of who I am these past few years. Yes I'm still wrestling with it, but I know I have come leaps and bounds from the person I was when I first came to PLU. I know she hasn't really had the chance to leave home or get out of our family/church bubble, and it might change once she as gotten there.
I dont know what spurned this---okay thats a lie. I've been looking at people's facebooks: people who are married and engaged. and also I have been looking at mormon stuff and reading my bible, and it's just been unsettling. ive felt very....ill at ease lately, and I wanted to just ramble on for a bit about girl power and all that great stuff. It's actually quite an exhausting position to defend, when you look at how every other person in my family is much more conservative than I have become.... anyway. thats my two cents for now.
When I get married, which I'm praying I will, my someone will know what I want. They won't be mad that I don't want to change my last name, or at least don't want to take their name if they won't take mine. We will not be introduced as "mr and Mrs. Man's name", nor will I have Letters addressed to me as "mrs. man's name." I promise to continue to remain the person I am. to remain an individual. I am completely against the notion that there is someone out there who will "complete me", because I believe I can be, and have to be, a whole person outside of a relationship. My whole philosophy in that area is that there are people more or less fit for you to be with, and that those people will complement you perfectly. those people will bring out the best in you, and challenge you to be the best you can be. THey will push you when you know you can do better, and support you when you need it.
But i refuse to be completely reliant on another person. I like the idea that I could rely on someone, but I hope I dont ever have to. I know I can't always go go go, and I do need people to hold me up, but I don't want to ever have to use that. does that make sense?
I've just, let go of these past assumptions I had about what I wanted. I refuse to take a back seat to my husband. I'm not sure i'm even going to want to call him my husband. I'd rather call him my partner, or companion. like, he will be my husband, but i'm not going to submit to him, or let him have the final say. not to say i'm not going to listen to him, and this is a long way off... I'm just thinking out loud. oh also, It's "I now pronounce you husband and wife", not i now pronounce you "man and wife". I'm not just going to be some man's wife. that makes me want to throw up. I've just been wrestling with this for a while. How do i reconcile being both a christian and a feminist, when my family associates feminism with liberal secular people. I can be both, I know, because I already am both. But it's really hard to get my family to take that seriously. Especially katie. She doesn't get it. and it sucks because she is probably the person who knows me the best in this world, but that's the one part of me she just doesn't understand. And that has become such a huge part of who I am these past few years. Yes I'm still wrestling with it, but I know I have come leaps and bounds from the person I was when I first came to PLU. I know she hasn't really had the chance to leave home or get out of our family/church bubble, and it might change once she as gotten there.
I dont know what spurned this---okay thats a lie. I've been looking at people's facebooks: people who are married and engaged. and also I have been looking at mormon stuff and reading my bible, and it's just been unsettling. ive felt very....ill at ease lately, and I wanted to just ramble on for a bit about girl power and all that great stuff. It's actually quite an exhausting position to defend, when you look at how every other person in my family is much more conservative than I have become.... anyway. thats my two cents for now.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
I dont get it
I dont get why someone would want to be cruel. WHy you would want others to see you that way, or why you would want to live in a constant state of judgement. Sure everyone does it, but why would you want to put yourself out there as a person who will both judge you and be mean about it. You can have opinions and share opinions without being cruel. You can argue with friends, you can discuss things, or dislike things or people. That doesn't mean you should go flaunting those preferences.
I cant understand why anyone would want to be that kind of person. and I vow never to be that kind of person.
My goal, for the rest of my life, is to be a positive person, and seek to find the good and the beauty in the seemingly mediocre, the inconsequential....and the crap. because God knows that things are here to teach us. We are here to learn. We are here to witness. We are here to grow, not to gripe. My goal is to step away from the negative things and just be a more positive person.
I cant understand why anyone would want to be that kind of person. and I vow never to be that kind of person.
My goal, for the rest of my life, is to be a positive person, and seek to find the good and the beauty in the seemingly mediocre, the inconsequential....and the crap. because God knows that things are here to teach us. We are here to learn. We are here to witness. We are here to grow, not to gripe. My goal is to step away from the negative things and just be a more positive person.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Sitting here in my underwear
Literally. I did my hair and makeup after I got out of the shower, and now Im sitting here in my underwear. woo for me.
I actually love wandering in between my room and the bathroom semi-naked. Not that I do it a lot, but Im not going to put on a bunch of clothes if Im just planning on getting in the shower, that's silly.
I have actually a kind of busy day today:
return costumes,
meet with val??
Costume shop
Clay Crows meeting
Vagina monologues
hang out with some cool people
tomorrow is Judas
and sunday is RENT
I like this whole, seeing three shows in a row thing. Its great. Reminds me of study away.
So. I don't know what i'm doing this semester. Like, plays and stuff. but other than that, I'm excited to see where it takes me. OH and homework. le duh.
My mother chastised me the other night when she and dad took me out to dinner on my use of the term "freaking" in my blog. I told her sorry, but that's not going to change my use of the term. I love her, I love my dad, but if my grandmother has a problem with it..... sorry. Im not going to edit whats in my head for them. maybe i should and maybe its a bery bratty thing to say, but what am I supposed to do? I lve with my parents for holidays, and I will be moving back there later, but right now Im on my own. is that not okay?
rehearsals are going well. I have more memorized than I thought.
i straightened my hair today. dear weather, please be nice.
I actually love wandering in between my room and the bathroom semi-naked. Not that I do it a lot, but Im not going to put on a bunch of clothes if Im just planning on getting in the shower, that's silly.
I have actually a kind of busy day today:
return costumes,
meet with val??
Costume shop
Clay Crows meeting
Vagina monologues
hang out with some cool people
tomorrow is Judas
and sunday is RENT
I like this whole, seeing three shows in a row thing. Its great. Reminds me of study away.
So. I don't know what i'm doing this semester. Like, plays and stuff. but other than that, I'm excited to see where it takes me. OH and homework. le duh.
My mother chastised me the other night when she and dad took me out to dinner on my use of the term "freaking" in my blog. I told her sorry, but that's not going to change my use of the term. I love her, I love my dad, but if my grandmother has a problem with it..... sorry. Im not going to edit whats in my head for them. maybe i should and maybe its a bery bratty thing to say, but what am I supposed to do? I lve with my parents for holidays, and I will be moving back there later, but right now Im on my own. is that not okay?
rehearsals are going well. I have more memorized than I thought.
i straightened my hair today. dear weather, please be nice.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
New blog for 2010?
OKay. I want to start a new blog. maybe. well. I dont know.
With the gratitude blog that my friends write, I get to see them change. While I dont want to do the same thing, I want to.... start over?
2010. Its the year I graduate, do my capstone, figure out what Im doing.... you know?
I dont know. Im sitting here in a towel because I jsut got out of the shower, and I just.... want something more. I want..... I dont even know what I want. And its not a depressed "I want more in my life....blah blah blah my life sucks" or anything. Because at this moment, I feel content. Not happy per-say, but content. ANd I think thats what I want to change. I have amazing people in my life, but my life isnt about being a LUTE anymore. and thats how I started this blog. so I think I want to change it. I want to be a positive person. Like teresa. SHe's just so wonderful. she doesnt like people to complain, but doesnt tell people not to complain. If someone is down she just goes "well whats your favorite part about the day~?" or something simple like that to help you change your perspective. I also want to continue to read my bible, and start working out. and checking off my lists I make every day. Becayse I get through like, three things and never finish the rest.
In other news, I went to A LOT of shows last year. so I made a list. Yay me.
Plays I saw Last Year (February 2009-January 2010)
1. A Midsummer Night’s Dream (RSC at the Novello)
2. Private Lives
3. Unbroken (the Gate)
4. Othello
5. Damascus (tricycle)
6. Spring Awakening (Lyric Hammersmith)
7. Taming of the Shrew (RSC at the Novello)
8. Duet for One (Almeida)
9. King Lear (Young Vic)
10. Comedy Players
11. Twelf Night (Donmar Warehouse)
12. Spring Awakening (with Clare, onstage at the Novello)
13. the 39 Steps (picadilly)
14. l’Illusion Comique (Comedie Frances)
15. Grease
16. The Lion King
17. The Winter’s Tale
18. Jason Mraz in Concert
19. Dido Queen of Carthage (National Theatre)
20. Spring Awakening (onstage)
21. As You Like It (RSC at Stratford-Upon-Avon)
22. Johnnie Foxes Pub Hooley (Dublin)
23. Time and the Conways
24. Spring Awakening
25. Romeo and Juliet (The Globe)
26. Death and the King’s Horseman (National Theatre)
27. Madame DeSade (Donmar Warehouse)
28. Waiting for Godot (Haymarket)
29. Spring Awakening
30. Company (PLU)
31. Guys and Dolls
32. The Secret Garden
33. Footloose
34. Dirty Work at the Crossroads
35. Chaps!
36. Wintertime (PLU)
37. SYTYCD Live
38. Chamber Company Dance
39. The Last Days of Judas Iscariot (PLU)
40. White Christmas (5th Avenue)
41. Johnny Daly at the Brazenhead
42. The Seafarer (The Abbey)
43. Irish House Party
44. Bacchus (Project Arts Center)
45. Glengarry Glen Ross (New Theatre)
46. Faun/As You Are (Project Arts Center)
47. Tom Crean (in Cork)
48. Playing at Plays (Town Hall in Galway)
49. Our Jimmy (Grand Opera House in Belfast)
50. Little Gem (The Peacock)
51. 10 dates with Mad Mary (Project Arts Center)
52. Faith Healer (The Gate)
53. World Premiers (One Acts….)
a. Rocko’s Post-Modern Life
b. Robbing Midnight
c. Straight Date
go me. thats a lot huh. I want to see at least that many this year.
Ive already seen one: Showtunes at the Moore! (where I met martin charnin. that was exciting.
With the gratitude blog that my friends write, I get to see them change. While I dont want to do the same thing, I want to.... start over?
2010. Its the year I graduate, do my capstone, figure out what Im doing.... you know?
I dont know. Im sitting here in a towel because I jsut got out of the shower, and I just.... want something more. I want..... I dont even know what I want. And its not a depressed "I want more in my life....blah blah blah my life sucks" or anything. Because at this moment, I feel content. Not happy per-say, but content. ANd I think thats what I want to change. I have amazing people in my life, but my life isnt about being a LUTE anymore. and thats how I started this blog. so I think I want to change it. I want to be a positive person. Like teresa. SHe's just so wonderful. she doesnt like people to complain, but doesnt tell people not to complain. If someone is down she just goes "well whats your favorite part about the day~?" or something simple like that to help you change your perspective. I also want to continue to read my bible, and start working out. and checking off my lists I make every day. Becayse I get through like, three things and never finish the rest.
In other news, I went to A LOT of shows last year. so I made a list. Yay me.
Plays I saw Last Year (February 2009-January 2010)
1. A Midsummer Night’s Dream (RSC at the Novello)
2. Private Lives
3. Unbroken (the Gate)
4. Othello
5. Damascus (tricycle)
6. Spring Awakening (Lyric Hammersmith)
7. Taming of the Shrew (RSC at the Novello)
8. Duet for One (Almeida)
9. King Lear (Young Vic)
10. Comedy Players
11. Twelf Night (Donmar Warehouse)
12. Spring Awakening (with Clare, onstage at the Novello)
13. the 39 Steps (picadilly)
14. l’Illusion Comique (Comedie Frances)
15. Grease
16. The Lion King
17. The Winter’s Tale
18. Jason Mraz in Concert
19. Dido Queen of Carthage (National Theatre)
20. Spring Awakening (onstage)
21. As You Like It (RSC at Stratford-Upon-Avon)
22. Johnnie Foxes Pub Hooley (Dublin)
23. Time and the Conways
24. Spring Awakening
25. Romeo and Juliet (The Globe)
26. Death and the King’s Horseman (National Theatre)
27. Madame DeSade (Donmar Warehouse)
28. Waiting for Godot (Haymarket)
29. Spring Awakening
30. Company (PLU)
31. Guys and Dolls
32. The Secret Garden
33. Footloose
34. Dirty Work at the Crossroads
35. Chaps!
36. Wintertime (PLU)
37. SYTYCD Live
38. Chamber Company Dance
39. The Last Days of Judas Iscariot (PLU)
40. White Christmas (5th Avenue)
41. Johnny Daly at the Brazenhead
42. The Seafarer (The Abbey)
43. Irish House Party
44. Bacchus (Project Arts Center)
45. Glengarry Glen Ross (New Theatre)
46. Faun/As You Are (Project Arts Center)
47. Tom Crean (in Cork)
48. Playing at Plays (Town Hall in Galway)
49. Our Jimmy (Grand Opera House in Belfast)
50. Little Gem (The Peacock)
51. 10 dates with Mad Mary (Project Arts Center)
52. Faith Healer (The Gate)
53. World Premiers (One Acts….)
a. Rocko’s Post-Modern Life
b. Robbing Midnight
c. Straight Date
go me. thats a lot huh. I want to see at least that many this year.
Ive already seen one: Showtunes at the Moore! (where I met martin charnin. that was exciting.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
internet cafe
So, I'm sitting in an Internet Cafe. Along with Cat, Teresa, Andrea, Erin, Paul, Lars, Travis, Adam, and Jordan. I think that's all. We kind of took over the place. Anyway. Queen of Tarts. De-freaking-Licious times two. I'm going to try and re-count all I've done, so this is going to be a long post. just skim it if you want. But here's a quick rundown of what we did. With a longer rundown following
SUNDAY:
*Breakfast
*St Patricks
*Christchurch
*St Patricks
*Irish House Party
Monday:
*Writers museum
*Guinness Factory
*The Bacchae
*Out to a Pub
Tuesday:
* History Museum
*Yeats
*Trinity College
*Queen Of Tarts
*Called mama (Happy Birthday!)
*NAP TIME!
*Glengary Glenross
\*Out to a Pub
Wednesday:
*Workshop at the Gaiety Theater
*Lunch at Queen of Tarts
*here.....
After staying up late, probably at some pub Somewhere. WAIT. I remember. We saw the seafarer that night. (saturday) I do believe. Anyway. It was brilliant. Wiat. Or was saturday the Pub Crawl. I think saturday might have been the pub crawl. Either way, both things were cool.
SUNDAY: (Jan 10)
11:15 Service at St. Patricks Cathedral. Pretty. (I went with Lars)
The afternoon was spent touring the different churches, first Christ Church and then St Patricks. Again, Pretty.
Irish house Party all the way across town. It was fun. Thank you Paul Richter for getting up and dancing, because if you hadn't Brian Wouldn'tve and we would have missed out. That night I just stayed in, I think. It was nice. I took a long bath and shower and it was beautiful.
MONDAY: (Jan 11)
Writers museum. Cool
Guinness Factory. We all got Pints and sat and looked out at the beautiful skyline. So that was fun. By "we all" I mean all of us except Jackie. And also by "got" I don't mean finished. I drank a third of it and then gave some of it to Kristina and some of it to Joe. I'm not a big fan of the guinness. I feel like a blapshemer saying that but whatever.
\i believe this was the night we saw The Bacchae. Yes. Yes it was. And it was interesting. Because, well... The space was really cool. And it was really cool to see a greek play. unfortunately... I felt as though the production seriously lacked a unifying concept. It was as though in the rehearsal process, they would stumble on something and be like "Oh that was great--Keep it!" or "Oh wouldn't this be a great idea." the answer to that was of course.... no. sorry. I mean the chorus was really cool. and the way they told stories was really cool but... I don't know. I'm still processing
That night, Jordan, Dylan, Joe, Adam, Lars, Myself, and Clare tried to go out to a pub playing ska. We walked in any everyone stared at us, told us they were done in five minutes, so we turned around and left. We then headed down to temple Bar and to a place called "the porterhouse". Its this really cool bar that is on the corner building of a street. Its like, Three stories, but the way its built is really cool. All three floors have a rectangle shape, but, there is a chunk in the middle missing. There are staircases on either side, and a platform in the middle for a band. The band can be seen from all three stories, so that's fun. Met this crazy girl from Chicago, and a group of Guys from Toronto. So that was fun. Ask me more about that story when I get home.
TUESDAY: (Jan 11)
Woke up, headed out. We went to.... where did we go?? The Yeats thing and then----OH. First we went to the National History Museum. Saw a bunch of old preserved bodies. Creepy and cool at the same time.
Then we had the performance of "I am of Ireland"--a solo/bio piece about W.B. Yeats. Um... There was a huge fiasco getting that all figured out. Brian had reserved these seats for us a while ago. We get there, and another american group, with the exact same number of students as we have, had walked in and taken our seats. it was an understandable error. But when this other american group found out they had taken our seats, apparently they were incredibly rude. Which is bad. and mean. |I only heard second-hand what they had said.... but whatever. So they had to squeeze the rest of us in and we had to wait until after the thing to eat.
After the yeats thing we went to Trinity college to check out the Book of Kells.--if you dont know what that is.... look it up....I went there last year with sara. seeing the videos of how they make the books are just really cool. Even more than the books though is just the epicness of the library. I walked up there and I felt like I was Belle after the beast gave her his library. Its beautiful. Just books upon books and ladders and busts and..... beautiful.
After seeing the Library, Clare, Kirsten, Kristina and myself headed back to the hotel, with the intention of stopping in at the Queen of Tarts to get something to go. We got in and sat down and....didnt move. We decided to just eat there. Queen of Tarts is some of the best food I have ever had in my life. I had a Salmon and Leek Tart, which came with side salad, potato salad, and bread. Then I ordered an Apple Crumble to go. It was beautiful. Literally. It looked beautiful. Then I called mama to wish her a happy birthday.
Back to the hotel for some one on one time with my bed. aka I took a nap which was fan-freaking-tastic.
We went out to see a female version of Glengary Glenross. Or however the heck you spell it. I was skeptical. Not skeptical for the woman thing, I just generally dont like Mamet. BUT. It was fantastic, I thought. The way dress was used to suggest power, and the fact that the most powerful woman in the play was wearing a sexy skirt. Those cross sections of power are very....erm..... interesting. (BTW--lars is busy putting up videos he has been taking)
Afterwards, talking to the cast, one of the women--who is actually the producer--invited us out for a drink with them. We headed over to their pub and ordered, then sat down by ourselves, as they were talking to thier friends. After a while we made our way over to their group and started talking. Well, the lead dude from "The Bacchae" was there. The first thing he asked me was
"So were you in the half that liked it? or didn't like it?"
That's one of the more awkward things ive ever been asked. I kind of just smiled and said I enjoyed it. Because I did. And he was referring to his show, not glengary. I just think its so important for us to go to things like that, because...well... it just is. We dont see classical greek theatre in seattle. We jsut dont. And I love london and dublin and these bigger cities where experimental theatre happens. It's so important for us to be exposed to that.
Anyway. We continued to talk. And told the actors about our trip and where we were going. We mentioned that we were heading up to Belfast. Probably ot the best decision. This led to almost an argument about divisions between the north and the south, and also someone mistaking when Ireland became a country. And not realizing that they were occupied ofr 800 years. and.... yeah. it was awkward and embarassing.
We went back to the Hotel, and Jordan, Travis, Joe, and Myself stayed up. I got out my apple crumble from the queen of tarts and we ate it together. It was nice to just sit up and talk with everyone.
WEDNESDAY (Jan. 13)
Early, early start. I had to be up and ready to leave by 8 30. completely hard for me to do. Because I love my sleep. But it was fun because we went to a workshop about improvisation at the gaiety school of acting. kristina and i did a scene where the problem was she had really bad gas. we also did a really cool scene that involved everyone not knowing what was going on. I loved it. SOOO anyway.
\afterwards, a few of us got a tour of the smock alley theatre. its the oldest original theatre in europe. and it was amazing. I can't even describe it. Being here, being where people have touched and breathed and lived in these buildings that are hundreds of years old is such a ....spiritual....experience. Like.....the energy of standing there, knowing other actors sat there and acted and played and...... I cant hardly explain it. and its like that with other places too. Like trinity library. Just so cool.
Lunch at queen of Tarts again. friggin cool. and delicious.
______________________________________________
So. Well. The wierd thing is that every play we have gone to has had someone in it from the HBO show " The Tudors" It's wierd.
Tomorrow is a day off and then we get to go out and explore the country. I'm excited.
I was talking to Jordan and Lars, and I asked them what is one thing they want to do while they are here. We all agreed that we just want to sit down and have a conversation with soemone. Like, a quality conversation, and just meet some people. That's why I've been going out. Its such a huge part of the culture. Drinking is a part of it, for sure, but drinking is not the point. Its socilaizing. there is nothing similar in the states. Bars, maybe, but pepople go to Bars to drink, and that is not why I go out to Pubs.
I think I should sign off now, but thats my long, long update. Sorry it was so long, and maybe boring. Whatever. Congratulations if you got this far!
SUNDAY:
*Breakfast
*St Patricks
*Christchurch
*St Patricks
*Irish House Party
Monday:
*Writers museum
*Guinness Factory
*The Bacchae
*Out to a Pub
Tuesday:
* History Museum
*Yeats
*Trinity College
*Queen Of Tarts
*Called mama (Happy Birthday!)
*NAP TIME!
*Glengary Glenross
\*Out to a Pub
Wednesday:
*Workshop at the Gaiety Theater
*Lunch at Queen of Tarts
*here.....
After staying up late, probably at some pub Somewhere. WAIT. I remember. We saw the seafarer that night. (saturday) I do believe. Anyway. It was brilliant. Wiat. Or was saturday the Pub Crawl. I think saturday might have been the pub crawl. Either way, both things were cool.
SUNDAY: (Jan 10)
11:15 Service at St. Patricks Cathedral. Pretty. (I went with Lars)
The afternoon was spent touring the different churches, first Christ Church and then St Patricks. Again, Pretty.
Irish house Party all the way across town. It was fun. Thank you Paul Richter for getting up and dancing, because if you hadn't Brian Wouldn'tve and we would have missed out. That night I just stayed in, I think. It was nice. I took a long bath and shower and it was beautiful.
MONDAY: (Jan 11)
Writers museum. Cool
Guinness Factory. We all got Pints and sat and looked out at the beautiful skyline. So that was fun. By "we all" I mean all of us except Jackie. And also by "got" I don't mean finished. I drank a third of it and then gave some of it to Kristina and some of it to Joe. I'm not a big fan of the guinness. I feel like a blapshemer saying that but whatever.
\i believe this was the night we saw The Bacchae. Yes. Yes it was. And it was interesting. Because, well... The space was really cool. And it was really cool to see a greek play. unfortunately... I felt as though the production seriously lacked a unifying concept. It was as though in the rehearsal process, they would stumble on something and be like "Oh that was great--Keep it!" or "Oh wouldn't this be a great idea." the answer to that was of course.... no. sorry. I mean the chorus was really cool. and the way they told stories was really cool but... I don't know. I'm still processing
That night, Jordan, Dylan, Joe, Adam, Lars, Myself, and Clare tried to go out to a pub playing ska. We walked in any everyone stared at us, told us they were done in five minutes, so we turned around and left. We then headed down to temple Bar and to a place called "the porterhouse". Its this really cool bar that is on the corner building of a street. Its like, Three stories, but the way its built is really cool. All three floors have a rectangle shape, but, there is a chunk in the middle missing. There are staircases on either side, and a platform in the middle for a band. The band can be seen from all three stories, so that's fun. Met this crazy girl from Chicago, and a group of Guys from Toronto. So that was fun. Ask me more about that story when I get home.
TUESDAY: (Jan 11)
Woke up, headed out. We went to.... where did we go?? The Yeats thing and then----OH. First we went to the National History Museum. Saw a bunch of old preserved bodies. Creepy and cool at the same time.
Then we had the performance of "I am of Ireland"--a solo/bio piece about W.B. Yeats. Um... There was a huge fiasco getting that all figured out. Brian had reserved these seats for us a while ago. We get there, and another american group, with the exact same number of students as we have, had walked in and taken our seats. it was an understandable error. But when this other american group found out they had taken our seats, apparently they were incredibly rude. Which is bad. and mean. |I only heard second-hand what they had said.... but whatever. So they had to squeeze the rest of us in and we had to wait until after the thing to eat.
After the yeats thing we went to Trinity college to check out the Book of Kells.--if you dont know what that is.... look it up....I went there last year with sara. seeing the videos of how they make the books are just really cool. Even more than the books though is just the epicness of the library. I walked up there and I felt like I was Belle after the beast gave her his library. Its beautiful. Just books upon books and ladders and busts and..... beautiful.
After seeing the Library, Clare, Kirsten, Kristina and myself headed back to the hotel, with the intention of stopping in at the Queen of Tarts to get something to go. We got in and sat down and....didnt move. We decided to just eat there. Queen of Tarts is some of the best food I have ever had in my life. I had a Salmon and Leek Tart, which came with side salad, potato salad, and bread. Then I ordered an Apple Crumble to go. It was beautiful. Literally. It looked beautiful. Then I called mama to wish her a happy birthday.
Back to the hotel for some one on one time with my bed. aka I took a nap which was fan-freaking-tastic.
We went out to see a female version of Glengary Glenross. Or however the heck you spell it. I was skeptical. Not skeptical for the woman thing, I just generally dont like Mamet. BUT. It was fantastic, I thought. The way dress was used to suggest power, and the fact that the most powerful woman in the play was wearing a sexy skirt. Those cross sections of power are very....erm..... interesting. (BTW--lars is busy putting up videos he has been taking)
Afterwards, talking to the cast, one of the women--who is actually the producer--invited us out for a drink with them. We headed over to their pub and ordered, then sat down by ourselves, as they were talking to thier friends. After a while we made our way over to their group and started talking. Well, the lead dude from "The Bacchae" was there. The first thing he asked me was
"So were you in the half that liked it? or didn't like it?"
That's one of the more awkward things ive ever been asked. I kind of just smiled and said I enjoyed it. Because I did. And he was referring to his show, not glengary. I just think its so important for us to go to things like that, because...well... it just is. We dont see classical greek theatre in seattle. We jsut dont. And I love london and dublin and these bigger cities where experimental theatre happens. It's so important for us to be exposed to that.
Anyway. We continued to talk. And told the actors about our trip and where we were going. We mentioned that we were heading up to Belfast. Probably ot the best decision. This led to almost an argument about divisions between the north and the south, and also someone mistaking when Ireland became a country. And not realizing that they were occupied ofr 800 years. and.... yeah. it was awkward and embarassing.
We went back to the Hotel, and Jordan, Travis, Joe, and Myself stayed up. I got out my apple crumble from the queen of tarts and we ate it together. It was nice to just sit up and talk with everyone.
WEDNESDAY (Jan. 13)
Early, early start. I had to be up and ready to leave by 8 30. completely hard for me to do. Because I love my sleep. But it was fun because we went to a workshop about improvisation at the gaiety school of acting. kristina and i did a scene where the problem was she had really bad gas. we also did a really cool scene that involved everyone not knowing what was going on. I loved it. SOOO anyway.
\afterwards, a few of us got a tour of the smock alley theatre. its the oldest original theatre in europe. and it was amazing. I can't even describe it. Being here, being where people have touched and breathed and lived in these buildings that are hundreds of years old is such a ....spiritual....experience. Like.....the energy of standing there, knowing other actors sat there and acted and played and...... I cant hardly explain it. and its like that with other places too. Like trinity library. Just so cool.
Lunch at queen of Tarts again. friggin cool. and delicious.
______________________________________________
So. Well. The wierd thing is that every play we have gone to has had someone in it from the HBO show " The Tudors" It's wierd.
Tomorrow is a day off and then we get to go out and explore the country. I'm excited.
I was talking to Jordan and Lars, and I asked them what is one thing they want to do while they are here. We all agreed that we just want to sit down and have a conversation with soemone. Like, a quality conversation, and just meet some people. That's why I've been going out. Its such a huge part of the culture. Drinking is a part of it, for sure, but drinking is not the point. Its socilaizing. there is nothing similar in the states. Bars, maybe, but pepople go to Bars to drink, and that is not why I go out to Pubs.
I think I should sign off now, but thats my long, long update. Sorry it was so long, and maybe boring. Whatever. Congratulations if you got this far!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Quick Hawaii Run down
Monday Dec. 28:
**arrived,
** went to the beach, (Waikiki)
**out to eat,
**wedding favors
Tuesday, Dec 29:
**To the Beach!! (ala moana. we swam out to the sandbar
**Ellen and Mari and Rie arrived.
** jello shots and other frivolity
Wed, Dec 30:
**Kings' grandma made us breakfast, I think
**To the beach for a picnic (ala moana again)
**called becca and mama!
**Mani/pedi's for the girls
**Bachelor/bachelorette party.
Thursday, Dec 31:
**Rehearsal in the morning
**Bridal shower at Kalele's
**New Year's party at Kingsleys
** Helllooooo vodka+cranberry juice... where have you been all my life
** jumped in the pool at midnight
** rehearsed first dance and walk out and stuff
Friday, Jan 1:
** The Day Bryan and I rode a bus. I'll tell you about it sometime. a rooster, schoolbooks, and waikiki were involved
Saturday, Jan 2:
**WEDDING DAY!!!!!
** Went over to Aaron's for a barbeque. Wonderful. Stayed the night with ELlen, Zach, Mari, and others who frequently inhabit his living room
Sunday, Jan 3:
**Aaron took me snorkeling!!!
**Ellen left, boo
**Zach got a tattoo
**I passed out on my bed at home, and kings woke me up. I was so disoriented!!!
**dinner with manetta, mana, kings, zach, and mana's mama
Monday, Jan 4:
**Packed up,
**printed up ticket
**dropped mana's mom
**health department
**over to The resort for another barbeque
**food and volleyball. fun
**left...... boo
and now..... I'm off to ireland!!!!
**arrived,
** went to the beach, (Waikiki)
**out to eat,
**wedding favors
Tuesday, Dec 29:
**To the Beach!! (ala moana. we swam out to the sandbar
**Ellen and Mari and Rie arrived.
** jello shots and other frivolity
Wed, Dec 30:
**Kings' grandma made us breakfast, I think
**To the beach for a picnic (ala moana again)
**called becca and mama!
**Mani/pedi's for the girls
**Bachelor/bachelorette party.
Thursday, Dec 31:
**Rehearsal in the morning
**Bridal shower at Kalele's
**New Year's party at Kingsleys
** Helllooooo vodka+cranberry juice... where have you been all my life
** jumped in the pool at midnight
** rehearsed first dance and walk out and stuff
Friday, Jan 1:
** The Day Bryan and I rode a bus. I'll tell you about it sometime. a rooster, schoolbooks, and waikiki were involved
Saturday, Jan 2:
**WEDDING DAY!!!!!
** Went over to Aaron's for a barbeque. Wonderful. Stayed the night with ELlen, Zach, Mari, and others who frequently inhabit his living room
Sunday, Jan 3:
**Aaron took me snorkeling!!!
**Ellen left, boo
**Zach got a tattoo
**I passed out on my bed at home, and kings woke me up. I was so disoriented!!!
**dinner with manetta, mana, kings, zach, and mana's mama
Monday, Jan 4:
**Packed up,
**printed up ticket
**dropped mana's mom
**health department
**over to The resort for another barbeque
**food and volleyball. fun
**left...... boo
and now..... I'm off to ireland!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
